If you can't say something nice

I am a feminist. I don't believe for one minute that women should put up with guff from ANY man and certainly not, from their husbands. I am not the "suffer in silence" type nor do I think anyone else should, however, it is wise to consider what you say about your spouse or significant other. It is very easy to make them the butt of your jokes or to speak disparagingly about them. This can often be learned behaviour, the way your mother spoke about your father or the way your father "joked about your mother" within your hearing or perhaps even to you. It can be a need to belong when getting together with your girlfriends, siblings, buddies or cronies.

Consider how this reflects on you. Consider what it says about the choice that you have made in a partner. Consider what it says about the person who should be the single most important person in your life, perhaps the person you have chosen to raise a family with. The person who was there before when you were a couple and with careful nurturing, the person who will be there as you grown into a family and if you become parents perhaps when your days as parents will have dimmed. Your partner for now and ever.

As good as it can feel to sound off to friends perhaps sometimes that is just your contribution to the group and perhaps there is an element of exaggeration or a boasting to the bad behaviour. Does it really need to be said ? Isn't there something else you can bring to the table ? Something well done ? Some thoughtful deed done for you ? If you can't find something good to say perhaps it's time to stop and consider what you have done that it thoughtful or worthy of positive comment for your partner and if you can't think of anything now is the time to figure out what you can do to be more considerate more thoughtful or kinder. This is a door that swings both ways.

Be kind.

Just because you can

Just because you can doesn't mean you should.

I was on the bus today and a well dressed seemingly affluent guy got on. He was probably in his mid to late 30's. He had a brief case and a tablet computer or some other bit of electronica that I am unfamiliar with. It was thin and had a bright clear screen and was about 14 inches in width. He was successful in getting a seat up front in the priority seating area on the very full standing room only bus and proceeded to plug into it and watch a movie. Now the route through downtown from beginning to end-that's suburb to suburb , on a good day, takes 90 minutes. He got on midway. At most he may have had 45 minutes on the bus. Other riders getting on had to step around his briefcase as he couldn't hold onto it with the device on his lap and he was oblivious to the obstacle he had created and not engaged with the people struggling past him because he was plugged into a headset. Those beside him could not help but be drawn in by the images and those overhanging him had nowhere else to look.
I can undertand using a device like this on a plan or a commuter train or for a longer trip but not for a short ride on a busy crowded city bus.

Pie

Pie should be homemade.
Pie tastes best when eaten with family and friends.
Every ice cream is a poor second to vanilla when served with pie.